On yet another walk with baby S, we picked up pastries from La Roux Patisserie. 

I walk by here frequently, and was not super interested in trying it out, because the decor was so fluffy. Why did it have to look so girly and colourful inside? Were the colourful pastries in the window display just beautiful on the outside? Would they also be yummy in my tummy? The entire package just appeared way too pretty to be true, so I avoided it. 

I first tried the Paris Brest (cream puff). This is the shop's best seller - a buttery cream puff with a hint of salt to balance the creamy Nutella filling. I couldn't stop at one bite! 

The lemon tart was my favourite out of all of three, because I love how the tartness cuts through the sugar and butter. The espresso pistachio tart didn't really have much pistachio flavor, and was quite heavy handed on the butter. 

H's favourite dessert is tiramisu, so I had to get it:

We both thought it was just OK. 

These would be convenient to keep in the fridge for late night snacking too. We kept them refrigerated for a few days, and they were still delicious. Sometimes, after a night feeding for baby S, I can feel my stomach 

growling, but I'm too lazy to get out of bed and just suffer through it until the next morning.

 

Baby S doesn't realize how lucky she is - in the middle of the night, all she has to do is whimper slightly, and her favorite food (milk) shows up in front of her.

H and I will be heading back to Vancouver soon, and I've been making a list of food around Victoria that I want to have before we leave. Would be nice to get burgers and shakes from Big Wheel Burger again: 

They use fresh local ingredients, which makes for a beautiful burger. Even the brioche buns were fresh from the oven. 

H had the chicken burger, because he doesn't do beef. I had the single patty, with a strawberry milkshake. 

Best burger and shake combo since Shake Shack, and it's unlikely we'll be gorging ourselves on that anytime soon, since the US/Canada border is still closed. 

After two months living on Vancouver Island, I've gotten into the routine of not having a routine. I still have my habits of caffeine every morning, and brushing my teeth twice a day, but we've been travelling so much that there hasn't been time to settle into a schedule. It's hectic, and I'm sure it doesn't help with baby S's erratic sleep patterns.   

The other day, it was rough. 

The morning started off okay and then as I succumbed to what my husband and child wanted to do rather than what I had planned for, I felt more and more drained. H wanted to make waffles at the buffet station, downstairs in the hotel. I didn't want to wait in line for waffles and carry my baby with me to get breakfast. I wanted to be in and out. Black coffee. Toast. Done. I let him convince me that it would be quick, and delicious. We stood for at least 10 minutes that I could have spent doing something else more enjoyable (like sleep). The waffles were bomb though. 

Then, I wanted to spend some time working on this blog, and was expecting my child to be taking her usual morning nap or at least have my husband take care of her so I could have 90 minutes to myself. 90 minutes. Some moms are lucky to have 10 minutes to use the bathroom and to maintain a certain level of personal hygiene. And here I was, having the audacity to expect more than an hour of free time. Of course, baby refused to nap and whined right through the time I had planned for, eventually progressing into a full-blown tantrum. H did not know how to soothe her and put her to sleep, adding fuel on top of this awful four month leap and sleep regression that she's going through. I ended up being too distracted to do anything, and had to nurse her to sleep. Then, I scolded my husband for not paying more attention to baby's needs, because he was just on his phone the whole time as she whined for her soother. 

We went out for a drive after she woke up to see Niagara Falls (not that one... the one in Langford), about 40 minutes away by car. Baby hates the car seat and cries every time we try to put her in the car. No surprise this time that she started screaming right away. Just as we arrived at the park, she fell asleep... great timing! We woke her up, and I was hoping she could be rocked to sleep in the Ergobaby during our walk (she didn't). As we pulled her out of the carseat to transition her to the carrier, we discovered that her back was covered in poo. Got her cleaned up and we were ready to go. The walk was great, the fall foliage was on full display, waterfall was so majestic despite it being a bit dried up. Then we had to put her in the car seat again (nightmare).

 

Along the way home, we wanted to stop by Costco. We always do this, push ourselves to the tired tank limit and I really should have said no, because I knew baby was tired. I was drained, let alone the little four month old baby, who was up all night, had skipped a nap, and now would be skipping another. She had just stopped crying from being placed in the carseat earlier, and started whining again, right as we made it inside. H loves Costco and would usually have wandered all the aisles to look for all the deals. This time, even he understood that we should focus only on what we needed, in and out, but it was not fast enough. Baby S was in meltdown mode by the time we were at the checkout. I ended up nursing her in the car, and she ended up falling asleep in the carseat again. Of course, we were just 10 minutes away from "home", so she only had a few minutes of shut eye, and she was furious from having her nap disturbed once again.

Bedtime was only 2 to 3 hours away anyways and the nap schedule was already thrown off, so we decided to let her stay awake if that's what she wanted. Usually, I can just go with the flow, but this meant hours of her whining about being tired and needing to be held. I finally just gave in and nursed her to sleep around 7PM.

I had also decided to call it a night, around 830pm, and had just fallen asleep next to her, when 20 minutes later, she's hungry. So hungry that she spends 40 minutes sucking me dry. I am a human pacifier. 

It'll all be worth it right? We'll get into a more regular pattern soon, right? I'll start feeling a sense of accomplishment soon, RIGHT?!

Lately, baby S and I have been taking morning walks to Bean Around the World. First thing we do is get changed and cleaned up. By 8AM, I'll throw on the ErgoBaby, and head off to Chinatown. 

After trying a few different coffee shops around Victoria, I hate to admit that it's the one from Vancouver that offers the oat milk and espresso combo that I prefer. It's got a full texture to it, and enough caffeine kick. Not too much though, to cause the jitters!

They have lots of outdoor seating right now, but also offer a few tables inside with the appropriate social distancing. Gets pretty busy here, so we've never sat down and usually wait outside. 

Thank goodness the sun has still been shining, so we can still go on these walks, because I'm not sure how else I would burn off some of baby S's energy in the mornings. It seems she's made another developmental leap overnight, and can flip over from her back onto her tummy. She's also changed her mind about sleeping yet again, and will not take any afternoon naps. Great. 

In addition to this latest baby development, it feels like so many other things have happened suddenly in one weekend, after all of these weekends just meandering around Vancouver Island.  Just as we've been celebrating the most recent progress on the homefront this week, my grandma passes away. She was our family treasure, and it took a while for me to figure out what I was feeling, because I was confused by the relief I felt for her. She had been suffering a lot of old age problems with her health, and I'm hoping she's resting in peace now. 

Thanksgiving this year is just with H and I (I guess baby S too), so we just ordered take out. White Spot has a Thanksgiving combo: 

Look at all the food for about $30! 

The turkey wasn't too dry because it's drowned in gravy, and comes with an extra side of gravy in case it needs more drowning. Extra cranberry sauce too. The vegetables were a bit undercooked, so we just zinged it a bit longer in the microwave. The mashed taters and filling were fantastic. 

Skip the pumpkin pie from White Spot, it's not worth the additional cost. Pick up a few mini pumpkin pies from Hey Happy instead.  

So many things to be thankful - lots of sleep inducing turkey, being away from home so that I'm not obliged to attend family gatherings during the COVID-19 pandemic and can really indulge the introverted side of my personality... 

Super thankful to have a healthy baby, although I still don't find motherhood super fulfilling. At the end of some days, I'll feel like I've done nothing, super unproductive because the whole day was spent trying to get baby S to take one nap. I'll be so exhausted by the time she does fall sleep that I don't feel like doing anything, and will just waste away my time on social media or watching TV or reading crap. I start feeling extra bad, because I've done nothing!  

Then, I'll message my mom, who insists that I send her photos and videos everyday because she's not around to see her grandchild everyday. She'll tell me I'm doing great, keeping the baby healthy with my hard work, and I'll actually feel a sense of accomplishment. 

Thanks, Mom, we both did a lot of work today. 

Baby S is now four months old, and as mentioned previously, she's going through a sleep regression/4 month leap. She used to just let us put the pacifier in her mouth whenever she was upset.  One day, she realized that if her mouth is too small for the pacifier, we won't be able to do that anymore. She started to keep her mouth smaller instead of wailing with mouth wide open, so that she can still complain and whine but the pacifier won't fit.  Just as easily, she forgot how to sleep for more than two hours at a time, and so I'm swimming in exhaustion for the past few weeks.  

It's just easier to go out and pick up lunch, rather than cook. H found a great little spot for Vietnamese sandwiches, Ba le Deli Victoria.

Fresh bread, excellent meat to veggies to sauce ratio, $7 a sandwich, prepared in less than 5 minutes.  Can't go wrong.

Other than changes with the baby, everything else has remained the same, but it just takes that one phone call to change everything. Hopefully we get that phone call before we return to Vancouver for good. 

Baby S has been going through a pretty bad sleep regression, and although I expected it around the four month mark, I still was not prepared for it. It is harder than usual to soothe her to bed. The only solution that allows both of us to sleep was for me to lie next to her while nursing her to sleep. However, sometimes, I wouldn't fall asleep that easily, and just as I'm dozing off, baby S is ready for another session of milk.  

Wouldn't it be amazing if there was something for adults where they could be soothed back to sleep by sucking on a pacifier? 

K suggested that I ask my husband to soothe me back to sleep, but I think I'll stick with coffee in the mornings. 

Good thing I am in close proximity to Hey Happy. On the days that baby S gets up bright and early despite waking up every two hours throughout the night, their delicious coconut milk iced latte keeps me alive: 

Sometimes, lumps will form from the coconut milk if I'm busy with the baby and leave it sitting for too long. When it's fresh though, it is the smoothest coffee beverage I have ever consumed. They add in just the right amount of cane sugar to mask any bitterness from the coffee (not that I mind the bitterness because I usually have black coffee; it's a nice change). Wish I could figure out their almond milk to coconut milk ratio too, so I can recreate it at home. 

They used to sell 500mL bottles of these, at $16 per bottle. It's pricey, but if I can buy a bottle of happiness for $16, WHY NOT? Sadly, they're listed as "out of stock" on the website now, so I emailed the Hey Happy team. Turns out that they're currently working on a way to make the packaging more sustainable. Well, good for them and the Earth. 

When I'm there, I will usually pick up one of their chocolate chip cookie too. It's got large chunks of chocolate, and they're topped with a sprinkle of salt, just the way I usually make my cookies. I'll save it for a snack in the afternoon, to go with my orange juice and iron pill. 

For the fall season and Canadian Thanksgiving, they also have a mini pumpkin pie as one of their pastries, which I decided to buy purely because I thought it'd look cute in a photo. Turns out that the pumpkin is perfect. The pumpkin filling is super creamy, and has a good blend of spices and sweetness. Wish I got two so that I didn't have to share with H, and will definitely return for more.  

As I finish up this post, I'm typing as fast as I can, because baby S could wake up from her nap anytime. According to the Wonder Weeks app, she has another 10 days remaining for this mental leap of Events. It's this leap that is contributing to her poor sleep. Guess that means 10 more trips to Hey Happy. 

I'm so sleep deprived right now, because baby S has decided she doesn't like to sleep at night. Maybe it's become a habit now to wake up every 2 hours for milk? Maybe it's part of her Events leap, which is estimated to end in 14 days? I was actually afraid to travel this past weekend with her during this long leap, because it would be so exhausting. For a 2 night trip, we would have to transport more of her things (change pad, bathtub, extra diapers) than the last time, when we did a day trip to Sooke. Everything was booked already, so we just had to grit our teeth and do it. 

Day 1 was spent entirely in the car, racing against the clock to arrive at Tofino before it got too dark. We checked into the hotel, and went to bed right away.

Our actual first day in Tofino started with a visit to Rhino Coffee House, for donuts and coffee (of course. you know me by now, donuts and coffee are the reason I get out of bed at all).

 

We had their maple bacon donut (above) and their bronut sandwich (below), which is an egg and ham/sausage/bacon sandwich. I chose the sausage option:  

It doesn't look that good, and it didn't taste that good. It was all just so-so. 

I also had an oat milk latte, which was again, so-so. 

The line up to order and the wait for the food was also quite long. All the staff wore masks, so I couldn't tell if the person taking my order was actually as unenthusiastic about working there as her eyes and tone of voice suggested. It seems there are line ups for food everywhere in Tofino. I'm not a fan.   

We visited the Caravan Beach Shop and loved their collection of books, stickers, clothes:  

We went for a short hike to Tonquin Beach: 

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Tried to take Starla for a walk on her stroller at Tonquin Beach but came across stairs. Good thing we had our @ergobaby! Made it to the beach and had burgers from @shedtofino for lunch. . . #walkswithstarla

A post shared by louisa (@luwesa) on Oct 3, 2020 at 3:34pm PDT

We visited Chesterman beach as well. Sand got into my shoes, and it was too cloudy to catch a nice sunset. 

Dinner was takeout from the Wildside Grill, because we had to try their gumbo. The food was great, the wait was not. We must've waited for at least 30 minutes, and baby S was throwing a fit by the time we returned to the hotel, because we were out way past her bedtime. H and I were tuckered out too.  

But surprise, surprise! I ended up sleeping better at the MAQ hotel than at home! Their bed and all their linens and towels are so soft, their peppermint hand soap smells so refreshing, and all the art placed around their lounge created a very interesting space to hang out.

I suppose being out all day, traipsing around the little town and beach hopping, contributed to filling up our tired tanks as well.  Baby S still woke up every couple of hours, but we both slept more soundly than usual.

Overall, it was an average trip with a grumpy baby, and parents who don't actually enjoy the beach life. I think H and I were so determined to get the most out of this trip and see as much as possible that we just forced ourselves to go. We just won't let small things like sleep deprivation and the gritty feeling of sand in our shoes get in the way, because we are the grit! 

Who goes to a beach vacation town in October anyways? 

H and I love browsing thrift stores and hunting for treasures, and now that baby S is outgrowing all the clothes we brought along with us to the island, we decided to visit second hand baby stores. Children's fashion is not very sustainable, and if I can reuse something rather than buying new, I definitely will. One of the thrift shops we've visited so far is Sailor Jack Consignment. It's a tiny little place, packed with clothes for the small people, and they have a solid inventory of almost new children's wear in excellent condition.

Right next door is Fry's Bakery:

We couldn't resist stopping in for a few baked goods, especially because we had worked up an appetite from a good session of second hand deal hunting. Not to mention, their beautiful pastries were calling to us through their display window.

We ended up ordering a mutton sausage roll and the breakfast in bed danish, and brought them home for lunch. Check out the large chunks of bacon in the danish. 

Pretty sure they used a whole stick of butter just for these two pastries. The mutton sausage was extraordinarily flavorful, and I might have to back up a few dozen to take home. I wonder if they have any frozen ones that we can store and pop in the oven for later?  

It was a perfect way to spend a rainy morning.