I have been allocating my meager EI income towards S's birthday party, so I have mostly been drinking coffee at home and continuing to work on my own perfect cookie. J came over the other day to give me some pointers, including spooning the flour into the measuring cup. Here was the end result, an almost perfect chocolate chip cookie, based on Tara O'Brady's recipe:

The chocolate chunks didn't melt chocolate, so I couldn't create that pool of chocolate effect. Not a bad bunch though, these didn't last the whole week.

Now that the party has come and gone, I realise that party planning made me feel very grumpy. Every little thing got on my nerves, no amount of coffee helped my mood, and it felt like we were stuck in a cycle of nap refusals and tantrums. My reality was that whatever mental capacity I had after taking care of my two under two was completely taken over by planning, especially the last week. We didn't have a cake until the last minute, when we created a donut cake. We turned our extremely minimal balloon decorations into an activity, where the kids could pick a balloon and blow it up themselves. 

By the end of it, I couldn't even focus on taking a proper photo. Sorry fam for ruining our family picture! 

Not sure what your reality of this last mercury retrograde was like, but mine was a whirlwind of planning and hormones and moods. The end result was a lot of fun, and I am glad I will never have to plan another 2 year old party for S again. 

Paragon Tea Room opened a second location along the busy Cambie corridor, and we dropped by on the way to visit B and her fam. They were serving up some strongly caffeinated matcha, and soft chewy cookies:

 

Continuing with my obsession to bake a cookie that spreads with beautiful cracks and the perfect level of chewy, I had to try one of their cookie options for research purposes. The different flavors included matcha white chocolate, chocolate chip, and earl grey cereal. I wanted to get the chocolate chip for inspiration but could not resist the fancy Earl grey option. The cookie's tea flavor was strong, texture of cookie was soft, and balanced out with some crispy cereal toppings.

Can I please take a two day break to live on a remote island to perfect my cookie baking skills, sleep in, and completely be by myself?

On a day like today, days are long, nap times are too short, and I need the years to fly by. S is sick and extra picky about food. While I was out and my parents took care of the kids, S took full advantage of her grandparents. She refused to eat her lunch, asked for fruits, and her grandparents gave in to her tantrums. That normally would be fine, but when I was discussing this and making other general childcare and nutrition related comments to my mom later on, my mom didn't take it too well and started arguing with me. 

It was exhausting.

At times like this, it's easier on my mental health for H and I to parent on our own without extra opinions from our community. More physically tiring, but I'm sure we'll manage, like we did in Victoria. Something has to change before I go completely nuts. 

This is what two months post partum looks like. 

For Mothers Day last week, we went low key, and simply visited JJ Bean in the morning. I've been obsessed with chocolate chip cookies, and JJ Bean bakes one of the most reliably delicious cookies I've had around Vancouver:

What type of chocolate do they use, I wonder? What is their flour to butter ratio to get the cookie to ooze like that? What temperature do they set their oven?

Their oat milk latte never fails to lift my mood too. Iced oat milk latte and chocolate chip cookie, irresistible.

With all of this energy from our morning coffee, we proceeded to run errands and do house things. Visited home depot for charcoal so that we could take advantage of the sun and H smoked a rack of ribs. While the kids napped, we went to cut the grass and pull out the weeds in the yard. Dinner at 6PM, and we were all in bed by 10... Could our lives be any more mundane?

I recently had an enlightening conversation with a friend about her health. She was so nonchalant about having to take medication daily and so accepting of her situation. She says these things come with age, and we (our friends) all have our problems, whether it's blood pressure, varicose veins, joint pain, back pain, pain in all body parts, etc. No longer in our 20's, heading to our 40's.

 "If it isn't happening to me, then it will happen to one of us."

Last week, we took both kids out to the mall to run some errands. We were at the mall for one hour, and during this time, we were able to complete two returns, browse for H's glasses, buy a new toothbrush holder, nurse baby P, and change S's diaper. It was a smashing success - P slept through the whole thing, S didn't throw any tantrums, and we even managed to pick up lunch on the way home. 

The mall trip feels like such a distant glowing memory, even though it was barely a week ago. So many diapers have been changed,  and we are exhausted every day. 

Today, we took both kids to Matchstick, then we visited IKEA, all before noon. While S took a nap, H went to trim some of our trees and bushes, while I took care of P, who is going through his first leap. We are really truly exhausted today.

Thankfully, H picked up some chocolate chip cookies from Flourist the other day so that I could stress eat after the kids fell asleep:

Flourist has two locations now, and they're both fabulous. They have their own flour mill at their bakery, and they grind their own super nutritious, clean flour. It does taste better. Their cookies are the chewy type that I crave, and they use big chunks of real chocolate (not the crappy sugary chocolate chips). 

Must keep more chocolate chip cookies at home for my mental health.

Baby P is here! 

He came out in two pushes, he screeched once, and I had zero stitches. He really isn't much of a crier, which makes me  wonder if there's something wrong. 

There's really no winning here - if he's loud, I'll worry. If he's quiet, I'll worry more. 

Just like how my mom worries that I'm not eating properly, especially during the first month post partum when nutrition is the most important, followed closely by ginger water baths, and no touching of any unveiled water (BIGGEST EYE ROLL). Little does she know, I've already snuck in some pastries from Livia:

I was craving a chocolate chip cookie with salt on top, so H ventured out with Baby S (can I keep calling her a baby now that she's almost two?!) to pick one up for me and burn off some energy. 

The cookie tasted homemade, I could probably make a similar one following this recipe that I love. It just wasn't the oozy cookie that I was craving. Don't get me wrong, it was still tasty and I devoured it.

The orange danish was quite tart, too much for my liking. The pastry itself was very flaky and crispy, loved it. Baby S had their croissant, which she would not share, a sign that she really loved it. The peach danish we had the next day, and it was not good - would recommend eating fresh to avoid it becoming soggy. Overall, the pastries at Livia weren't mind blowing, but I wouldn't mind going to try their brunch menu, maybe with the kids? 

Worries about his quietness aside, we are making many memorable moments together with baby P. I'll always remember the first time he pooped, startled himself, and burst out crying.