It’s the little things that add up to make a big difference. Here’s a list of “little” things that I thought about today while H is guiding his kids in Nova Scotia and I was hiking (if you have any questions about this bottom of Brandywine Falls hike, email me using contact info on About page):

1. This little plastic squirrel (beaver? whatever.) that I thought was a candy and that I tried to eat because I was hungry, waiting at Milestones on Robson:

I could’ve choked on this little pointy thing. There was also the small portion of popcorn shrimp that was deceptive at first, because of the real popcorn underneath all of it. This really bothered me. I’m paying close to $14 for a handful of POPCORN?! If the whole container was full of shrimp (which were also little), then I wouldn’t be so upset at the price. A’s seafood pasta was oversalted and I’m sure my kidneys are suffering from just one mouthful of the spaghetti that she shared with me. I only came to this place because it was A’s farewell party, and she’s sort of amazing so I had to say bye. Not coming back unless I have to.

2. Little habits and mannerisms add up, and become glaringly obvious to the point that they’re all I notice. Legs shaking, nose twitching, chewing loudly, unnecessary remarks/actions for attention or for whatever reason. Now I know this could be an uncontrollable physical/psychological thing, and I am trying to let it go. BUT SOMETIMES…!!! Tonight for example:

Scene – Soup is done, in the pot on the stove. Everybody is finishing dinner around the table, and to wrap up the meal, like true Asians, we drink soup.

Person1: Let me get you some soup. *starts to get up from the table to get me soup

Person2: OH I’M GOING FIRST. *jumps up quickly and heads to the pot first to get first dibs from a huge pot of soup

Now, I asked questions because I’m trying this new thing. I tried to be kind and understand why Person2 needed to be first to get the soup when there was so much and Person2 had been just sitting there with an empty bowl for at least 5 minutes prior to Person1 getting up from the table. The soup was already done a while before dinner started.

Me: Just wondering... Why did you get up when Person1 decided to get up?

Person2 had no good response other than a scowl and“What’s the problem?” in a very defensive tone.

3. Small acts of kindness, like Person1 getting up to get me soup out of the kindness of their heart. M asking D how his leg was, because she noticed a huge cut there and is a caring person. J planning a party for A. Friends going out of their way to keep showing up and be supportive. Food sharing even though you love what you bought for dinner and the portions are small!

4. Human beings are actually really tiny, adding our mark on the world (see photo above of waterfall). We did the Brandywine Falls hike again. One of the rocks we walked by ended up tumbling into the water. My big picture side makes me wonder... What will that fallen rock do to change the grand scheme of things?

I slept all weekend, recovering from a very unexpected, unplanned stomach bug. Or maybe it was something else, other than upset stomach, because I also had body chills, headaches, overall discomfort. What’s wrong with me?



Stress is probably a huge factor. Not like a “THERE’S A TIGER IN FRONT OF YOU” stress, but more like “traffic is really frustrating everyday, i’m eating junkfood most meals, i can’t sleep, and i have no way to relax” stress. It’s the little things getting pent up.

BUT AS AN ADULT, I will get over this (with the help of my parents and boyfriend and other loved ones… because who am I kidding? I’m still child sized). Right…?

Typing into Google “signs you’re an adults”, gives me 40,300,000 results, and they’re all different, based on Reddit, Lifehack, Business insider, and many others… Anyways, I think I’d like a break now. My cousins always try to give me life advice, but it’s when I remember that they are just under 10 years older than me that I really remind myself there are so many things to learn from them.

1. Save money every month, even if it’s a small amount.
2. Your parents are not always right, but they usually have your back, so let them take care of you.
3. Eat, drink and be merry.

I mean, now that I sleep at 11PM on a Friday night, instead of leave my house, I think I’m really stepping over that line of adulthood…

Also, my phone has failed and cannot dial out. So i have wiped it. It now sort of works.

You might not realize how much you love someone until:

-you’re doing something that causes anxiety, because you want to help them out. B asked me to be her bridesmaid a year ago, and I was very against these idea. I don’t have the type of energy to do these things! I think it’s one of the reasons I’ve been so drained… Just the thought of being a bridesmaid stresses me out.

-you’re waking up every hour to make sure your alarm hadn’t gone off yet. Makeup and hair at 4AM. Sharp.

-the tears start welling up in your eyes. B walked down the aisle, and was already tearing up. D was 2 minutes into her speech, and I started tearing up.

-you’re pacing around the room to stay awake. I tried tea, sugar, walking around in circles. Would I would do this for H? I wouldn’t be able to sleep anyways.

-somebody else points it out. T said to H: She really loves you, you know?


It couldn’t have turned out better. Weather, timing, food:

We were at Kirin at Starlight Casino, and it was just about the best Chinese food I’ve ever had (maybe it was the wine too). Above is the abalone we sampled that night, and it tasted as good as it looked. Just the right amount of savouriness, perfect chewy texture. I don’t know about other Kirin’s, but this one was impressive.



Now I know abalone is not the most ethical food to have… But it’s not like we have it everyday and it is a Chinese tradition. It’s not fair to ask us to give us our cultural traditions if others can keep theirs despite endangering the lives of animals or even the environment.

To re-inspire myself, I’m making a list of things that inspire me (in no particular order):

1. Food, particularly pizza.

Took advantage of the extra day off to spend more time with my lovely friends, who I feel like I haven’t seen in forever. I may have been neglecting them a bit, but weekends are now for working and napping. S and I went to Nelson the Seagull in Gastown…

Above: Poached eggs with mushrooms for $11 + $3 = $14. These were a little difficulty to eat because they were poached hard. I suppose I should’ve specified medium, but who likes hard eggs?! Other than that little blip… The bread was very fresh and good (IT BETTER BE, THEY BAKE IT IN HOUSE). The salad and mushrooms were acceptable, and tasted like they’re probably freshly grown/local.

Above: The Full Nelson – I don’t remember how much this cost. $13? Black forest ham, tomato, lettuce, and cheese (swiss?). Question marks because S ordered it and devoured it to soak up his hangover. He seemed to enjoy it, although the ham was all piled in the middle and not evenly distributed, according to S.

Below: Latte with almond milk, made in house, and a little plant.

Overall, a good experience, because it’s a nice atmosphere to meet friends and the coffee’s strong enough. I would not recommend eating here, because there are other breakfast/brunch places with better eggs.



And yes, I’m happy. As happy as an angry little girl could be.

I don’t feel motivated to do anything this week. Performance review is coming up, and I have goals and dreams, but really, nothing will inspire me more than Claire Marshall uploading a new video and going to yoga. Let’s just eat, OK?

PIZZERIA BARBARELLA was so amazing. H and I went during happy hour (3PM to 5PM everyday) for a quick snack before dinner. 20% off small pizzas, $4 beers, the total came to about $17. YAY. We had the salsiccia, chosen for the sausage:

Couple beers to go with it:

The server was pretty good, gave us samples of the beers before pouring full glasses, just because she KNEW we wouldn’t like the Elderflower beer that they had on special. The stout was more to my taste.

Then I got a parking ticket while parked for dinner outside Ebisu.
Then I realized how chubs I'm getting.
Then I realized it all doesn't matter anyways because I'll just hike it off!Can't wait.

OK, back to changing the world, one camera at a time.

 

Purchased this Chosungah 22  brow gel from Sephora in Grey Brown, many moons ago. The foam applicator tip fell off within the first 5 days, so I exchanged it for a new one… and the new one fell off again. Must be defective. Don’t get this again, but use up whatever I have left because I don’t like to waste.

It also doesn’t make a huge difference on my super thick brows. Maybe it works better for people who have thinner brows.

Above: Unhappy with bushy crazy brows that were not gelled down

Above: Intrigued by this brow gel idea…

Above: All 3 images taken in different lighting with brow gel on. Meh. Makes it darker, I suppose, but it still doesn’t quite satisfy me.

It’s so hard to be patient and wait. 2 more years until the condo is done, and who knows what’ll happen between then and now. Sometimes, I want a monotonous life without excitement, where every single evening is the same routine. Every morning, I would put on the same white shirt and blue jeans, possibly mix it up with a cool coat:

How do I train myself to be able to wait? One of the worst feelings in the world for me is waiting for results, whether it’s waiting for somebody to show up, somebody to return, or somebody to reply. It doesn’t matter in the end, because we are all just blips in the grand scheme of things. Is that depressing? Well, cats are awesome so here’s a cat pic to fix the mood:

Today’s Negative Juju (in RED) vs Positive Vibes Brought to Me By:

1. Noticed 2 charges to my credit card on my online statement that I didn’t make - $500 at BestBuy, $200 at Newegg. WTF?! Somebody stole my info!

2. Spent what felt like hours trying to figure out the automated system for RBC.

3. RBC Customer Service is pretty awesome! I’ll be getting a new card before I leave for Chicago, and the charges will be waived!

4. Found the new rose gold necklace that I lost yesterday. Woot woot!

5. It was like a party in the hot room before we started class – there were 2 girls who would not stop chatting, not even whispering, and they were so loud the whole room echoed. We don’t want to hear about all the hikes you plan on doing. So rude. After they stopped, another pair of girls started whispering and somebody SHHHH-ed them. They kindly stopped. I guess the 1st pair of girls would’ve been too loud to hear the SHHHH, if anybody even tried.

6. Class was great. I released all my inner angst while warrior posing and falling over my balancing poses.

7. Came home, cooked, baked, and ate. Researched sunscreen. Don’t get anything with oxybenzone, and Neutrogena ain’t so great. Source: EWG

8. Decided to try Juice Beauty (wyneth Paltrow is the creative director of Makeup for this brand), and they sell it at Whole Foods around Vancouver. H sent me a 15% discount code to purchase over the web instead <3

9. I don’t have my credit card so cannot purchase online right away… My face needs SPF protection NOW!

5 Positives and 4 Negatives.All these first world problems. I think it’s still a good “me” day overall, and I’m almost ready for the upcoming week. 

Spent the day at one of my favouritest places on earth – Whistler!

Pulled pork poutine at the cafeteria near the Wizard. Gourmet. $13.95. Worth it, come back for more!

That’s the end of this season for ski/snowboard. It was a rather uneventful season for us this year in terms of winter mountain sports, because we didn’t go up that often. S and V think I’m on drugs, partly because I’m changed. It’s nice that they’re worried enough to talk to me about it though. Spent some time with H after dinner with J and V, and now watching vlogs. Now that I think about it more, why am I worrying so hard? Great new products and technologies are on their way. Check out this edible disposable utensils: https://www.ketto.org/bakeys

They just need to find a way to make it more affordable.

Woke up at 7:30AM today. I can’t sleep in. So grouchy… Nespresso in a Starbucks reusable cup.


Actually had quite a busy day, so it was a good thing I rolled out of bed early.

Went to Bikram. Traveled downtown for a Zero Waste workshop (more on this later). Went to a friend’s place for nachos (click here for You Suck At Cooking’s demonstration of how to make macho nachos) and of course, to watch the Superbowl:

C had these little beers from Asahi, super cute size, but not really satisfying. Finished them in 1 gulp… I guess they’re perfect for the Japanese people who can’t really tolerate alcohol:

This was surprisingly satisfying though:

Queen Bey, Chris Marten, and Bruno Mars performing at the halftime in a very colourful, rainbow themed field. Is this because they legalized gay marriage in the past year? Side note - thanks Chris Martin, for opening for Beyonce.

4 more days. H likes to tag me in his photos, then hashtag #imissyou and #iloveu, wich my friends find “extremely surprising. We’ll never know when we’ll run out of time!
#likei’mgonnaloseyou

Coffee time, all the time. Went to Fresh Press in Richmond for the first time:

This is their brêvé, which is 2 ounces espresso and 2 ounces half and half (I think those were the volumes the barista told me she would use). It’s so much richer and smoother than using milk or cream, but I don’t think I would drink it in a larger volume than what Fresh Press offered (notice the tiny cup), just because of all the fat and calories in half and half. Adding half and half to my grocery list and opening up the Nespresso milk frother now.

Everybody calls this place a hidden gem. I would agree, and I’m coming back to read their copies of Drift, which I cannot afford to subscribe to. Drift is a magazine dedicated to coffee, describing coffee adventures around the world. Costs about $20 a copy.

Before he left for Asia, H’s car was entered and a few important things were taken, and we were both devastated… Shit happens, and we learn to lock our cars properly.
Now, I am devastated by myself (possibly he is too, how would I know, he’s halfway across the world). It feels like the end of the world again because H has just left for Asia today and I guess I should’ve gone with him when he told me to buy a ticket, but hey, the rule still applies! Don’t plan ahead for more than double the time that you’ve been together. 


End Day 0.5 of H in Asia.

I just want to go back to this…

Might as well just eat.

Look at all that butter. @Happy Date Bakery & Restaurant. Maybe I don’t exercise enough to have this, but we’re all going to die one day, and I’d rather eat this and be happy than deprive myself of all that fluffy bread with butter.

Reasons why I cannot sleep:

1. SimCity BuildIt is keeping me awake.
2. I dread transiting to work, but how else am I going to save some money?
3. Too much coffee today to stay awake.
4. Just not ready to sleep yet.

Waking up at 6AM tomorrow to bus to work when I could be riding comfortably in my Veloster. (Maybe not that comfortably, I get pretty nervous when I’m driving these days, probably because of all the previous accidents). It’ll be my first time using the monthly pass on the Compass card. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Life, happens when you're making plans
Flying high & shaking hands
The song will write you, you don't write it
I, didn't mean to fall in love
Rhythm that created us
I was running, we collided.

Baseline, I will always make times,
I just wanna know that feeling’s in your heart for me
Baseline, after all the great times,
I just wanna know that feeling’s in your heart...

When the beat drops out
And the people gone
We still be there, still be there
For me child.

When the lights go out
and the morning comes
we still be there, still be there
for me child
When the beat drops out...

 

Went to see my first Canucks game. Not a fan of hockey or the Canucks, but it was still fun. Try everything once…

It’s only been 10 days, but it feels like forever already. Where did these 10 days go? I have too much time on my hands now to think about what I really want to do. I think I really just want to bike around and do nothing.

 

 

Heading to Whistler this weekend, and it’ll be March when we get back.

And grandma is in the hospital…

When it shits, it diarrheas.

All the Bright Places by Jennifer Niven, recommended on Hello Giggles. Got a copy for my birthday, and raced through it. Easy read - YA fiction about teenagers who fall in love and quote Virginia Woolf, romanticizing suicide and yanking on the feels.

I cried for about 30 minutes after finishing it (not a hyperbole). I guess it was meant to be inspirational, but death is death. It was like meeting a dementor & getting the happiness sucked out of me. Ugh, where’s the chocolate?

The clutter that is my desk, Andrew Rayel’s Yearmix 2014 playing in the background (the best), and Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel (a BC writer, represent!). The story is told in flashbacks, jumping between the time before & after civilization was wiped out. TBH, This book has thrown me into some sort of depression, and the weather ain’t helping. Feels like the world is going to end, what with the diseases, wars, protests going on everywhere… Still a good read.

The first few seconds of this year was spent at work. Last year was so hectic, doing so much to try to get this job. And now… Everything’s gone quiet. The past 2 days, I’ve been reading, eating, drinking, hanging out with people… How do I learn to take it easy and stop stressing out when I’m not busy? I’m stressed enough at work. Maybe I should do take on more OT to get my mind off things… Maybe just not enough nature, only been to Whistler ONCE this season.

“You can expect some wonderful things to happen this week. Today’s new moon in your sign makes this one of the very best times of the year, especially for creative endeavors and affairs of the heart. Tackle life head on – and love every moment!”

Time to prove this WRONG, again.

Le sigh. #Whistler #vancouver #explorebc #explorecanada #nature #mountain #snow

A photo posted by louisa (@luwesa) on Dec 12, 2014 at 10:19pm PST

WHISTLER! My favourite place to go in the winter. Finally went up with V. Scraped down some moguls on our 2nd or 3rd run, almost ran into trees a few times and ended up on my bottom to avoid rolling down the slope. V got upset too because he fell into a tree well. We were both not happy with this, so we went up 5 more times. Owned it.

So glad we went, distractions are required.

 

I’m going to fight this as hard as I can by not finding good news anywhere.